A letter to you

On By loomy9138In Anxiety, cutting, Depression, friends, Grief, Healing, medicatedandmighty, Self-harm

I know I’ve been posting a lot of stuff like this lately, but it’s just so appropriate that nothing else needs to be said.

I also know that a lot of people here feel unworthy, depressed and like no one cares or understands. I understand. I’ve often felt like that myself. I also know that’s not true. I care about everyone that follows my blog, and everyone I haven’t met yet that may be reading this. Why, you ask? Because you are worthy. That’s the simple answer. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve happiness and all of the best things in life. If you are reading this, it is because you have a desire to be better, to be happy and fulfilled. And that is completely attainable. And you deserve it.

So keep hanging on. Keep trying. Keep fighting. Because one day you will get there, I promise. Nothing is too hard to overcome, especially together. Don’t give up my friend. Reach out. Take my hand and let’s get through this together. If you need someone, send me an email anytime. I’m here for you, and you deserve the world.
Riseofthephoenixblog@gmail.com

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11 thoughts on “A letter to you”

  1. It’s seriously like you wrote this just to me. But I’m quite sure I’m not alone in feeling alone. And it’s not that I feel lonely — that’s completely different.

    Today was the first day after several days that I didn’t have some stupid physical complaint. Physically I’m great, but like the weather in my neck of the woods, I feel grey. I am so sad, but trying to kick myself out of this funk. I do feel it’s sad when I can’t tell my husband I’m sad because he will get angry and say 1) get over it, 2) you did this to yourself. Why does a person get angry when another person gets sad? So, I don’t want to open up to him and let him know I’m sad because I don’t want anger or a heated argument … just easier to pretend.

    And then to me it’s sadder that the only person I feel who is understanding me is someone in the internet world … someone I don’t really know but only through words and responses. I hate being sad. I hate crying and the solace I have is that I tell myself that it won’t always be like this and feelings are temporary … to just hang on and hang in there.

    Maybe this is why I read some bloggers who talk about being depressed so that I can offer a supportive word and at the same time see that I’m not at that low of a point. And maybe that’s why a particular blogger reaches out to me, because helping others can often make you forget about your own problems. My brother for instance is about as low as one can go, but what keeps him alive are men in crisis … drug and alcohol crisis.

    Anyway, I had to break out the Kleenex because I’m sitting here crying … and then I lighten up as I remember recently hearing some words on an audio podcast spoken by my brother (he’s 10 yrs older than me) saying if you were feeling down and you went to speak to someone under a bridge about their troubles yours would seem like nothing. And he’s right, but there’s no way I’m driving out in this rain and cold to go find some poor soul under a bridge to talk to, to listen to … so it’s going to have to stay as some imaginary allegory in my head.

    Thank you for your post today although somehow it touched on the rawest nerve and I’m waiting for the stupid whimpering, lip trembling and tears of mine to dissipate. I definitely don’t want to be discovered crying by the person who should love and support me most (outside of myself).

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    1. I am so sorry that you feel like you can’t talk to your husband. Is it possible that seeing your pain triggers something in him? I know that seeing people who are upset makes me anxious, because when I was a kid I would be punished for having emotions or crying. I am here for you, you are not alone, and you are incredible and deserve the world. And that new job!

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      1. We’ll just be waiting together separately to hear from our prospective new positions!

        My husband is very masculine and not the comforting type. I don’t know … maybe I’ll ask him what triggers him to be so angry when I cry. He’ll probably tell me the truth.

        But I’ve cheered up a bit since my replies after reading some other things and this will be a question for him some other day.

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