I hate thinking the same thoughts but not being able to move past them or come to a resolution.

Regarding my mother, I keep thinking 3 things: I’m not strong enough to have her in my life, I’m never going to move past this without facing her, and if she dies I will have regrets forever. Those three thoughts have been swirling in my subconscious like a hurricane crossing the gulf. Twisting, seething, and brewing. Not close to land yet, but the possibility still exists.

This may be the most important decision of my adult life, letting her back in or closing her out forever.

2 thoughts on “Decisions

  1. Baby steps baby steps baby steps!

    Follow your heart, listen to your mind but above all believe your gut! The best predictor of future actions is past behavior. Someone may SAY they have changed but actions always speak louder than words.

    Unless your mom has done some serious therapy on her own she may still be too toxic and unhealed to put into your life on any regular or significant basis.

    Having your mom be part of your life because you feel guilty or are worried abot future regret aren’t very solid reasons for putting someone so deletrious back into your life — those are both negative and fear based reasons. You’ll have to ask yourself what the positives are about including her in your very precious life. You must consider the potential if reopening “healed” wounds.

    Everytime you put attention on someone it’s less attention for you, your life and other loved ones and friends. You may want to examine why you feel guilt if you do not include her.

    I wish you the best on all that you decide. There is no rush in this matter. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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